Dating apps may seem desperate and dangerous and as ultimately satisfying as fast food, but a UNB researcher says the trick to using them is being open to new possibilities not limiting them.
You download Tinder, see who’s available. You find a person you’re interested in, swipe right. They like you back. Congratulations, it’s a match.
That’s how many people are dating now. The “hook up apps” offer a unique, weird and simple way of meeting new people.
Nathan Thompson, a PhD candidate in sociology, said apps like Tinder or Grindr offer variety.
“Apps such as Tinder and Grindr have provided a lot of new possibilities for meeting individuals that you may not have had the chance to meet before, even though those individuals may be less than 100 meters away,” Thompson said.
Use with caution
Like the majority of people my age, I downloaded Tinder just to see what was up with it.
My first match was with a guy, whose name I can’t remember because his message freaked me out and I “unmatched” him right away. The message was simple, but…
“I wanna take you in my hotel room and take your breath away.”
When I read that, I started asking myself if that’s what this app was all about, then I started asking guys, what brought them to Tinder.
Jake, who happens to live a hundred miles away said he downloaded Tinder after his girlfriend broke up with him last December. “My buddy said I should get it just to talk to girls again,” Jake said. “It hasn’t actually turned into anything with anyone I’ve met on Tinder.”
“I think Tinder is good as long as it’s used with caution, because people on here are essentially strangers.”
Thompson said people have to be careful with dating apps. At the same time, they facilitate people’s dating lives, they can also be a problem that, according to Thompson “can turn into what people have called the “fast food” version of dating; that you can now pick and choose, block, not respond to, or even troll others without much consequence.”
While swiping left or right, I’ve talked to a guy who said I was a fairy and another one used the funniest pick up line I’ve heard in my life:
“Roses are red, violets are blue. You can be my Tinderella, I’ll even get you a shoe.”
Another guy I met, Garrett, is less than five miles away; we talked twice. He told me he met two of his girlfriends on Tinder.
“I always had a great time. I travelled a lot for hockey and it was always interesting meeting new people from different areas and getting to know them.”
Garrett believes our generation has become dependent on those online dating apps.
“Some use it as a joke, some are actually looking for real relationships, opposed to going to bars or social events and meeting people.”
Garrett said if you’re going to use Tinder, you should be cautious.
“Look for mutual friends, get to know them. Maybe meet for dinner or an activity. Look more into their profile. See if they have Instagram or Facebook and if they do, maybe look into those profiles about them,” he said.
Desperate times…
Most people on campus have downloaded it, at least once but are not really happy to admit it. Someone told me that you just go there once you are desperate.
Thompson doesn’t really agree. According to his research, people are bolder to tell what they’re looking for when they use a dating app.
“The bottom line is that dating apps may limit the ability for those that aren’t always considered “attractive” in our culture to find romantic and sexual interaction. In the past, you may bump into someone at the club or a party who you wouldn’t typically be attracted to but once you started chatting an attraction may begin to form. With apps like Tinder, you merely swipe left and you are done.”
Opportunity swipes
According to The Guardian, about 450 million profiles are rated every day on Tinder, and research says membership is growing by 15 per cent each week.
Thompson says that apart from the fact that dating appslessen face-to-face interaction, people should also be concerned about sexual health.
“There is reason to be concerned about the lack of sexual health awareness we have in general, mixed with an increase in dating app usage. In fact, Tinder just added a Healthy Safety section to the app.”
Still Thompson encourages people to “swipe right” more often with those they may not initially be attracted.
“Even when you’re at a fast food restaurant, it can be a good idea to try something new off the menu, instead of ordering your usual fare.”