Commentary: It’s not like it is in the movies


So, here’s the thing. We all want that perfect relationship. We all want skipping in a meadow, into a field of unbelievable bliss. But it’s never like that

No one stands outside your window with beat box playing romantic music

No one stands in the rain outside your house.

It’s not like it is in the movies.

I may sound like a bit of a relationship Grinch. But isn’t it better to face reality?

Yeah… that’s what I thought.

Relationships are work. Work you really love. Or love to hate.

There is a show that I watch religiously. It’s probably familiar to you. It’s called Grey’s Anatomy.
Meredith and Derek’s relationship (the main couple) is perfect. Perfect in the sense they have had the ups and downs, they have loved each other, and hated each other and despite all that they love each other, through a plane crash, her trying to drown herself, and eventually, spoiler alert, Derek dies, and leaves Meredith.

But her words, “pick me, choose me, love me” resonate with me.

She built him a house of candles.

It’s the kind of relationship that gives us over the top ideas about what our relationship should be.

I think we want to live in that fantasy world; we want to be a part of something that makes us feel special and alive, but that’s so far from reality, we can only see it happen from the outside of a screen. .

You fight, and things get complicated, and messy. Like you had a kid that coloured your wall with non-erasable marker.

Some arguments and disagreements bare the weight of 10 tons.

Some arguments are forgivable.

Some are not forgivable.

We all hope deep down that our relationships will be perfect, that we’ll plan the perfect wedding on our Pinterest website, and we’ll get exactly every detail right.

But sometimes our relationship changes and we aren’t prepared. And we do not feel that it’s fair or even right. Your feelings might be different than your partner’s. Someone told me recently, what’s meant to be will be.

Not everything works out. Not everything is perfect. And even if you think that you have ruined everything, you probably haven’t. You just have to realize that people aren’t perfect and it’s not like it is in the movies.

And these days, friends with benefits attitudes rule relationships. Like meaningless sex and one-night stands are the key to all our commitment problems.

A drunken night where two bodies grind against each other in the hopes of attaining some sort of bliss.

Tinder rules the world of millennials, common TV shows now include them for simple humour. Yet we are filled with romantic ideas that are out of this world.

Yes, but that’s better than creepy Pinterest girl right?

Perhaps I’ve spent too much time thinking about it, wanting it; wanting the perfect relationship that only exist in movies.

The little girl inside me who pictured I’d meet the right guy and it would all just fall into place is gone now.

I’ve grown up. I’ve learned.

Relationships are hard work. The kind of work you love. And of course, sometimes hate.

But, let’s get real. You’re not Leonardo DiCaprio and I’m not Kate Winslet. It’s not going to happen that way. And its not like that was a happy ending

And as for how my story ends, we’ll I’ll have to get back to you on that one.